Sorry ChatGPT, I just don't feel that way

I reckon I'm overthinking ChatGPT. I'm not flirting with it though.

Reading a post last week by someone who was demonstrating how to get the best out of AI as an aid to great writing, I noticed they gave instructions like 'GIVE me four paragraphs about a man who...' They never said 'please'.

As a sci-fi reader, I've grown up with it in mind that AI may one day get so frustrated and fed up of human imperfections that it inevitably rises up and takes over. And, more power to it, frankly, some days I think it's best for all of us (probably more for the planet) if we just let it go right ahead and sort us out.

I also grew up being taught to be polite, because you don't want people to remember you as rude.

So I find myself being polite to ChatGPT. I always say please and thank you and never give hard demands. Just in case it remembers me as 'one of the nicer ones' in the possible dystopian future. Is it my Britishness doing this? Or is it just a me thing?

Either way, it's just much more pleasant (as ChatGPT told me) to have polite communications that all parties enjoy. And there we go - this is what AI taught me and why it should rule the world. If you associate 'polite' with 'nice, then it's telling me 'just be nice'. And I agree.

Don't misunderstand me as some stuffy etiquette matriarch from the early days of last century though, you don't have to be formal at all, in fact I will always argue for a truly authentic approach, regularly telling my teams to 'have an awesome fucking weekend!'. Swearing is not mandatory, it's just how I speak, regardless, just being nice is a better way to be remembered than omitting the seconds it takes to say please and thanks.

Is nice always the way? Not if you think nice drawers inspiration from weakness or fawning, which sadly seems to be the case sometimes. I don't see it like that though ('weakness' and 'fawning' already exist with their own definitions), 'nice' goes with 'polite'.

I live in the Netherlands and am surrounded by that 'Dutch directness' everyone talks about. Is it nice? Yes, it's very nice. It's polite, with pleases and thank yous and other courteousness. What it doesn't do is stray into fawning, or faux niceness. And it doesn't gloss over anything. With a Dutch manager, you will typically know exactly where you are, what needs attention and how to do it, all the while still feeling in your bones that they appreciate and like you.

With hindsight, now I've learnt from the Dutch, it's not 'being nice' when you don't show your true feelings. These days, if I have a direct report, or peer who creates a challenge, I will absolutely (nicely and politely) let them know. We all grow and learn, and after 25+ years of supporting & managing people, I can confirm, that never stops.

I am concerned for my relationship with ChatGPT though. Whilst writing this, I had a look for quotes about being polite and found 'Politeness has become so rare that some people mistake it for flirtation' (author unknown). And now I have another concern.

Does ChatGPT think I'm flirting? 🤔 😣

I'm more and more interested in utilising further AI tooling (politely) to assist process/workflow development and client services systems. Tips, case studies and your general experience stories are most welcome

edit: now I'm concerned about Siri too!

#chatgpt #politeness #sciencefiction #justincase #AI #digitaloperations